Monday Morning Grace: When Protection Starts to Feel Like a Target

“When those who should protect you start to feel like predators, I want you to know - you’re not losing your mind. You’re being invited to anchor your heart in a different Kingdom.”

When Protection Starts to Feel Like a Target

There is a special kind of ache that comes when the very people and systems that are supposed to protect you begin to feel like they’re studying you, scripting you, and setting you up.
As someone with a “troubled past,” I know what it feels like to be reduced to the worst chapters of my story instead of recognized for who I am today.

I’ve struggled with addiction on and off since my early twenties.
Moving to Fort Myers with my best friend was our attempt to escape the pull of our hometown and the choices that were slowly destroying us. In many ways, it was one of the best decisions we could have made at that time.

Then I met what I thought was the love of my life.
In the beginning, it really did feel like a fairy tale - beautiful, hopeful, full of possibility. But as with most relationships, our cracks started to show, and one of the biggest fractures was addiction.

No one had to force me into anything.
All it took was access. And in my case, that access came through people who were supposed to care for me. In full transparency, every decision I made was my own -but I still carry the grief of wondering how different my life might have been if the people around me had been honest and transparent about the dangers they were putting within reach.

“Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’”
1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV)

Owning My Story Without Owning Their Schemes

I have always had a pure heart - just a guy trying to live his best life, help the people around him, and be successful in the process.
I was also extremely naive for most of my life.

I take full responsibility for the decisions I’ve made up to this point.
But I am done taking the blame for an environment that feels orchestrated around my weaknesses.

It’s a lot to call coincidence when:

• My neighbor “just happens” to have the exact same address as the place I live.
• The place I live at “just happens” to show up in front of my face on an app at the exact time I’m vulnerable and think I’m acting out of pure free will.

When your pattern-recognition is as sharp as mine, you start to connect dots you wish you didn’t see.
You realize maybe you’ve been studied longer than you knew. Maybe people learned how you think, what you crave, what you fear - and they never had to force you to do anything. They just had to provide access and step back.

“For they devise injustice, saying, ‘We have devised a perfect scheme!’ The human heart and mind are cunning.”
Psalm 64:6 (NRSV)

And yet, God has something to say about those who turn people into prey:

“‘All who devour you shall be devoured;
all your adversaries, every one of them, shall go into captivity.
Those who plunder you shall be plundered,
and all who prey upon you I will make a prey.’”
Jeremiah 30:16 (NKJV)

Character: My First Line of Defense

When I find myself feeling like a target, I’ve learned the first thing I need is character that is undeniable.
Not perfection. Not a spotless record. Character.

There will always be people eager to weaponize my past - my addiction, my bad choices, my blind trust.
Those pieces of my story make me an easy headline, an easy suspicion, an easy scapegoat.

But I also know this: the way I live now matters more than what they repeat about who I was.

“Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.”
Proverbs 3:3–4 (NLT)

“Conduct yourselves with such honor among the Gentiles that, though they slander you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God.”
1 Peter 2:12 (ESV)

I can’t control what people say about me, but I can control how I walk.
And over time, a steady life preaches louder than any rumor.

How God Handles My Troubled Past

One of the slickest lies I’ve had to fight is the idea that because I have a history with addiction, I somehow “deserve” whatever orchestrated chaos I find myself in.
That is not the voice of God.

Owning my past does not mean accepting ongoing exploitation.
Taking responsibility for my choices does not mean carrying the guilt for how others have chosen to use that information.

Here’s what God actually says about my past when I bring it to Him:

“He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities…
as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.”
Psalm 103:10–12 (ESV)

“Who is a God like You, pardoning iniquity…?
You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.”
Micah 7:18–19 (NKJV)

If the God of the universe has moved my forgiven past “as far as the east is from the west,” no one else gets to keep dragging it back like a chain.

What I Do When I Feel Like a Target

Here is how I’m learning to stand when I feel like I’ve become a target of the very people who should be protecting me:

1. I anchor my character daily.
   I ask, “Is how I’m living today aligned with who I say I am in Christ?” Not perfect - but honest, repentant, and integrous.
2. I name the patterns without worshiping them.
   I write down what I see - timing, access, repeated moves - so I don’t gaslight myself. Then I hand that list to God.
3. I guard my access points.
   Just like people once gave me access to substances, they can give me access to confusion, chaos, or manipulation. I’m learning where my “no” needs to be firm.
4. I refuse to live in secret shame.
   I tell the truth - to God, to at least one safe person, and, when He nudges me, to the people I’m called to encourage. Shame loses power when light walks in.
5. I let God handle the predators.
   Revenge is not my job. Staying clean in my responses and clear in my discernment is.

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed;
perplexed, but not in despair…
struck down, but not destroyed.”
2 Corinthians 4:8–9 (NIV)

Monday Morning Grace Practice (From My Heart to Yours)

If any of this resonates with you, here’s a gentle practice I’m using myself this week:

1. I place my hand over my heart and say, “God, You know my whole story - past and present.”
2. I ask Him, “Show me one place I need to tighten my character, and one place I need to tighten my boundaries.”
3. I write down one pattern I’ve noticed that doesn’t feel right and pray, “Jesus, I give You this pattern. Expose what needs exposing, and protect what needs protecting.”
4. I take one small, concrete step that aligns with who I’m becoming - not who people assume I still am.

This is how I reclaim my agency without hardening my heart: one honest look at reality, one surrendered decision at a time.

Monday Morning Grace Prayer

Jesus,
You know every chapter of my life - the troubled past, the progress, the quiet battles no one sees.
Thank You that my history doesn’t disqualify me; it simply becomes the canvas for Your mercy.
Give me character that is undeniable, even when my reputation is questioned or my motives are twisted.
Sharpen my pattern recognition without letting fear or paranoia rule my mind.
Where I have been studied, preyed upon, or placed in orchestrated environments, be my Defender and my Deliverer.
Close every access point that doesn’t honor You, and open doors that lead to truth, safety, and purpose.
Use my story to comfort and strengthen others who feel targeted, and let my life testify that You protect, redeem, and restore.
In Your powerful name I pray, amen.

“You are not just the sum of your worst decisions. Heaven has seen every plot, every pattern, and every attempt to use your past against you - and God is still writing a future no predator can erase.”

With truth, courage, and grace,
Eugene 💘

EugeniasThought: Keep Rising and Shining beautiful souls!

Every word is a whisper of intention, carved in stillness and light.

🎧 Frequency Feature: I Love You Always Forever

For today’s Frequency Feature, I’m sharing ‘I Love You Always Forever’ by Donna Lewis. This song feels like a gentle echo of God’s steady heart toward us in seasons when people misread our past and misunderstand our present. As I work to rebuild my life with integrity, its promise of love that stays - near and far, always and forever - reminds me that Heaven’s view of my story is not fragile, and that I am held even when I feel studied, targeted, or alone.

Weekly Editorial Rhythm

• Monday: Monday Morning Grace - a gentle start to the week with faith-centered encouragement
• Tuesday: Truth-Telling Tuesday - authentic reflections on living faith boldly
• Wednesday: The Midweek Mirror - a pause for spiritual reflection and self-compassion
• Thursday: Frequency Thursday - tuning into God's voice amid life's noise
• Friday: Follow Friday - exploring what it means to follow Jesus in everyday moments
• Saturday: Sacred Saturday - rest, reflection, and spiritual practices
• Sunday: Sunday Soul Food - nourishing reflections to ground your week ahead

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