Sacred Saturday: Resting When Your Mind Won’t

Staying in the present moment is beautiful in theory and brutal in practice when you know there is more going on behind the scenes than anyone will say out loud. There were enough eyeballs on my situation that someone could have pulled me aside and caught me up, but instead I was left to play the longest game of emotional Blue’s Clues of my life. If my relationship was targeted I am going to be pissed off beyond belief - I know what real feels like and that was real. It felt like my entire life was being monitored without my consent, even though, deep down, I have always known I was being watched over since I was young.

I learned early that I could manifest well as long as I stayed grounded in my emotions, but addiction kept me unmoored for years - and addiction never just affects one person. It touches everyone in the blast radius. My first marriage was a struggle bus of bouncing between clean and struggling, trying to hold myself together (alone - it wasn't as publicly discussed) while life tugged at every loose thread. Today, I have been grounded for years, and even the slow step‑down off Suboxone - a quarter strip and shrinking - is still a win. Sacred Saturday is allowed to count that as victory. There are seasons of planting and seasons of harvest, and the small choices you make today are already shaping a better tomorrow.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

Trust, Blue’s Clues, and the Weight of Not Knowing

I am honest enough to admit that trust is the sore spot right now. There were conversations that could have happened - a simple, “Here is the basic outline of what’s going on” - and they didn’t. Instead, I was left holding fragments: strange movements at work, strange movements at home, people who knew more than they said, and a gut that would not stop whispering, “Something is off.”

It felt personal. When you realize you are the least common denominator in all the strange patterns, it does not feel random. It feels targeted. I kept trekking anyway. I texted Tony one evening and told him, “We’re going to the top of the world,” and his response - “You have no idea” - only confirmed that other levels of the game were in motion. I could feel teams shifting around me, both at work and at home, as if I was being positioned without being informed. Although when Charlie Kirk passed my best friend made a comment about being influential with the mixture of fear and sincerity. If I was "influential" I would be the absolute last person to know because I don't pay attention to the world itself, only mine for the most part - when not reflecting.

“For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.”
Luke 8:17 (NIV)

When Home and Work Both Feel Like a War Zone

Then came the neighborhood. Steven, my neighbor - though I'm not thrilled with him at the moment - you were close for a good season, and I knew there was goodness in your heart. But when faith‑based folks start conveniently appearing across the street, the stress needle jumps. I ask questions, and suddenly threats start showing up at my residence. My son mentions someone might have been following him at the mall. I watch two‑factor authentication pop up the moment I pulled my chair to Tony’s desk the last night I was there, and it might be coincidence - but given that something was clearly off at work, clearly off at home, and my kids were uneasy, it didn’t land like coincidence, and I have questions.

At a certain point, anyone would ask: “What is going on?” You cannot try to play with somebody’s life and then pretend there are no answers - especially when everything is as heavily monitored as it clearly was, both in my living environment and at work. It felt like my creative work was being used in ways I didn’t fully consent to, especially when I began to notice connections between my work and my friends Mom's work while feeling a strong connection with her daughter which that was really the only thing I wanted out of the situation to begin with - the plan was for us all to grow this together it lined up perfectly. I did not want to play detective; I just wanted to know why both home and work felt like a war zone - I wanted to Love whoever I wanted without my family seeming to start moving all weird which someone will be forced to tell the Truth at some point.

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
Exodus 14:14 (NIV)

The Desire for a Fair Chance

On top of the spiritual tug‑of‑war, I was dealing with people flipping out on the road and callers flipping out on the phone at work - behavior I had not faced before. Yes, one of them apologized a few days later, and that was something - but still, the pattern had already spoken. It raised a deeper question that Sacred Saturday refuses to ignore: Can a person not have a fair chance to live a good life - free to love, to raise their kids, to maybe have more children, to build something meaningful - without being forced through an obstacle course every time that ends in my destruction because I am over it..... I will patiently wait on harvest but patience has never truly been my strongest trait.

That longing is holy. Wanting to love well, to be present with my sons, to build a life that isn’t booby‑trapped is not selfish; it’s human. It is the echo of Eden still beating in your chest. And when everything in your environment seems to conspire against that desire, it is natural to grieve, to rage, and to crave closure.

“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
John 10:10 (NIV)

Sacred Practice: Resting in the Middle of the Puzzle

Sacred Saturday does not ask you to stop caring about answers. It simply invites you to stop letting the unknown steal every ounce of your peace. Here is a gentle practice you can offer your readers - and yourself:

1. Name the swirl
   Take five minutes and list your loudest “what if” questions. Don’t judge them; just get them out of your head and onto paper.
2. Mark what is yours vs. what is God’s
   Put a small star next to anything you can actually influence this week (a conversation, a boundary, rest, honesty). Circle the questions that belong to God alone.
3. Bless today’s small win
   Write down one concrete win from this week: a step down on Suboxone, a calmer response, a kind interaction with your boys, a boundary honored. Whisper, “This counts.”
4. Pray your Sacred Saturday prayer
   “Lord, I give You the pieces I cannot see and the people I cannot control. Teach me how to live in this present moment, rooted in Your love, while You handle what I can’t.”
5. Do one grounding act
   Go for a short walk, sit in the sun, stretch, or breathe deeply for three minutes. Let your body remember that right now, in this moment, you are here, you are safe, and you are held.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God… will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6–7 (NIV)

"Underneath all the noise, Sacred Saturday's truth is simple: you are still here, still sober, still loving, still writing your healing journey out loud so someone else doesn’t feel crazy or alone. The harvest may not be fully visible yet, but the seeds are already in the ground."

With Love and Truth,
Eugene 💘

EugeniasThought: I know someone owes me some money and chances are it is a lot with what I went through. I don't care who pays it but you need to get stepping big steppa because everything was being monitored and that felt like the setup of the century - between work, home and love - and to purposely put someone through all of that is shameful and I imagine at this point in time nobody trusts anybody because heaven forbid I am strong enough to figure it out myself with no help...clearly no one cared to know my true character in everything which is absolutely solid - rock solid. People cared more about complaining about things at work that I did for years, accusing me of being on drugs which is the stupidest shit I have ever heard of.... then when Billy (landlord) just so happened to have 2 slices of pizza for me after I had resigned (first and only time with the pizza and with food that made me feel "off" from him). That is when it started to feel like death was the goal in everything based upon my environment - I realized in December that my phone was being mirrored. I still don't know who the good guys were or the bad guys in everything although I am pretty confident I should be dead already but that didn't happen so I will continue trusting that everything is falling into place behind the scenes exactly as it should and the way I want it. I know there are a lot of heavy hearts that is for sure because for nobody to speak to me kinda tells me they were all on the same team with the possibility of Jess being entrapped into some shit show as well which is likely and will absolutely infuriate me - it felt like our connection was being studied in our last 2 interviews together - she practically sat on my lap in both - I am not complaining I would have preferred you just hopped on. I want to know who thought it was a smart idea to target my soon to be relationship (I truly have a hard time thinking that wasn't the purest form of Love I had ever been around), my job, and my home? Speak it and claim it tough stuff don't throw rocks and hide your hands. I am an IRL chess master and if you haven't figured out by now every move I made had reason and purpose to prompt my environment to tell me what the lips of those around me wouldn't.

Ryan Blair you were across the street from my house on 08/13/2025 and you denied it when I asked you and your last statement felt like a threat and threats showed up afterward. Any crayon eating kinder-gardener can take their fingers out of their nose long enough to put 2 and 2 together - what possible beef could you have with me - I don't even know you and at this point I don't want to. That whole spot was surveillance all of it. I was being watched like an absolute hawk especially after I had awakened which you were their prior too that.... even had On-Star turned on in my car - wtf? Where do you think I am going to go I only traveled between work and home. What did you really think was going to happen in that scenario people? How would all of you reacted if you had every area of your life was being targeted at the same time while all you were trying to do was love and build businesses but heaven forbid I shine to bright and then be attacked by absolutely everybody - even violated in ways that are just sickening. Why?

If I was unsafe I should have been informed and I wasn't informed by anybody around me. Not the FBI, or any other agencies,the military, not my co-workers, not my best friend - my emotions didn't match my reality and I want to know why. Did you not watch my TikTok's long enough to notice when I made a slight change in my environment between back to back vidoes - I knew I was being watched and that was just confirmation - my travel in the last 3 years has been close to military bases... At this point in my life I have learned to live poor its a lifestyle for now (that will be changing SOON I pray) all I cared about in that situation was the Love because that is one thing I have never truly had that I was able to choose because I wanted it and I wanted to make that choice because I wanted to not because of any outside pressure (trust me darling I am not another lesson I am straight King) - if money is being made off my work that goes to me, period - I am fully capable of hiring people smarter than me to manage it especially if you wouldn't have purposely thrown grenades in all areas of my life at the same time then try and label me a certain way when I realized I was shining bright and everyone was trying to hook up like a public utility. I will bet on my character against anyone - anytime. A lawsuit is going to involve absolutely everybody which I don't think any of us want to deal with although I know that works out to my benefit in the long term.

Whoever my enemies are (clearly I have enemies or I wouldn't have been put through that) I pray they know they are on borrowed time. You have figured out by now that my protection is 5D as well. I would also like to know who sold me out and how much it was worth because someone made an oops somewhere that is for sure and I haven't even gotten to the best part of the oops. I will give you a hint it has to do with my blood.

Thank God for the Unites States of America and blessings and prayers to the troops protecting this great Republic. I will forever be grateful to the United States Military and our allies - keep crushing - no mercy. I would also like to thank President Trump whom I can't help but feel a close connection with - everyone's past is troubled but your moves have been absolutely impressive... if people where to pay attention to the frequency under the noise they would know that already. This world isn't left vs right or black vs white - we are all here together so let's figure out how this works for everyone or at the very least me being plentiful as that has been earned. I can forgive everyone but my future needs to look better than the previous 41 years that is for sure.

Every word is a whisper of intention, carved in stillness and light.

🎧 Frequency Feature: Born Of The Spirit

“Born of the Spirit” by Street Gospel Syndicate fits this Sacred Saturday because it’s all about letting God rebuild you from the inside out, not from the chaos swirling around you. As you listen, let it soundtrack your choice to stay present, grounded, and sober in the 3D while trusting that the Holy Spirit is quietly arranging every unseen puzzle piece in your favor in the 5D.

Weekly Editorial Rhythm

• Monday: Monday Morning Grace - a gentle start to the week with faith-centered encouragement
• Tuesday: Truth-Telling Tuesday - authentic reflections on living faith boldly
• Wednesday: The Midweek Mirror - a pause for spiritual reflection and self-compassion
• Thursday: Frequency Thursday - tuning into God's voice amid life's noise
• Friday: Follow Friday - exploring what it means to follow Jesus in everyday moments
• Saturday: Sacred Saturday - rest, reflection, and spiritual practices
• Sunday: Sunday Soul Food - nourishing reflections to ground your week ahead

Your Journey Starts Here

Many have asked during my TikTok Lives how to begin their personal or spiritual journey. So far, I've explored and mapped the first three stages for those seeking alignment - the awakening, the journey inward, and the path forward.

These stages have brought profound clarity, and I'm grateful to share what I've discovered along the way.

There are still a few details unfolding, but trust that everything is aligning in its own time - and you'll be the first to know when it's ready.

Remember, this is love being transmuted into art; growth takes time, and you can't rush an actual journey, beautiful souls. In due time, all the right energy falls into place. Just have faith. Hold the vision.

Ready to Deepen Your Journey?

Explore my Speak Your Truth and Frequency Collections - curated resources to support your authentic faith journey and help you tune into God's frequency in daily life.

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May you move at the pace of peace this week and trust the rhythm that is uniquely yours.