Sunday Soul Food: Holding Steady in Your Own Skin

Some stories are too layered to untangle in real time, and yet your soul still has to decide how it will move through them. Today’s whisper is simple: even when you’re being misunderstood, monitored, or pushed to your limits, you are still allowed to feel your grief, trust the quiet tug of the Holy Spirit, and stand your ground with a steady, defended heart.

Some weeks, the real battle is not out there - it is inside your chest. Your mind wants to wander into every “what if” and “what really happened,” replaying scenarios and trying to solve puzzles that refuse to give up their pieces. In those moments, emotional balance looks less like having it all together and more like gently bringing yourself back to the present: this breath, this room, this day. You already know in your heart what is right; part of spiritual maturity is choosing to follow that quiet tug instead of being yanked around by everyone else’s stories about you.

The Bible reminds us that self‑control is not you white‑knuckling your way through the week; it is fruit that grows when you stay connected to the Holy Spirit. As you move into a new week, you can pray, “Lord, help me respond instead of react. Help me feel my emotions without being ruled by them.” (I still struggle with this at times) That is not weakness. That is strength.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self‑control.”
Galatians 5:22–23 (NIV)

Don’t Let Projections Define You

One of the quickest ways to lose your peace is to let other people project their fear, shame, or confusion onto you. You can feel it when it happens - people reading motives you do not have, assigning stories to your actions, or treating you like a character in a script you did not write. This is where you ground back into who you actually are in Christ. You are not the sum of other people’s assumptions. You are who God says you are: loved, chosen, and made new.

When that old urge to explain yourself to everyone rises up, you can pause and ask: “Is this about me - or about what they are carrying?” If it is projection, you are allowed to step back. You can bless them, keep your boundaries, and remember that your ultimate identity is anchored in Jesus, not in anyone else’s narrative.

“If anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”
2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)

When the Story Is Bigger Than What People See

Not all information that gets put out is true. Sometimes things are said or left unsaid on purpose - not only to protect yourself, but to protect the people you love. I was smart enough to realize that my entire environment was being monitored and studied around the clock, no matter where I was - back in Indiana, in Tampa, at home, or even in what should have been private spaces like my journal. Knowing that, I understood that not every detail could be shared in real time over the years.

When I left Lawnline, I did so knowing I had worked alongside a team of genuinely good-hearted people, despite my own emotional reaction in the moment of trying to get as far away from everyone hoping that would solve whatever seemed to be happening around us. I also sensed that Jess was carrying her own burden, much like I was, and that we might not be able to speak for some time. Because of that, I tried to plant creative seeds where I could and then simply released the outcome.

When I finally sent that text message around 11 a.m. - after drafting and deleting it more times than I can remember, and while still feeling physically off due to the pizza that was made for me - I hoped she and others had already discerned that something in the environment was not right. My hope was that, in her own way, she was also following along in faith, trusting as I was that if something is meant to work out, it will. My prayer then, and now, is straightforward: whatever the outcome, may everyone be safe.

The same prayer extends to Zach and to everyone I’ve mentioned along this healing journey. I sincerely apologize for any hurt or confusion my choices may have caused. In many ways, it felt as though I had been shaken awake from a long, painful sleep in the middle of an already intense season, and I made the best decisions I could with the information available to me at the time. My whole nervous system was signaling that I needed to step away, clear the environment, and create distance until I had more clarity and data points to analyze the situation because I have watched enough episodes of crime shows to know everything that was happening was crafted with precision and I needed a timeout because it was getting to weird for my liking... the way my environment seemed to be illusions rather than reality and I desperately wanted the emotion I was feeling and not the illusion I was being shown.

I also felt a strong conviction to release - rather than cling to - my connection with Jess, trusting that if anything about that relationship was being used or misinterpreted, the most loving thing I could do was to walk away. If my phone and communications were being mirrored or studied, it seemed reasonable to assume the same might be happening to her and possibly to others in that space. It often felt as though our connection was being pulled apart and used against us, and that realization was deeply unsettling and, frankly, not okay - until finally one day after I awakened I just said screw it I am going to tell her - Jess - I learned more in that conversation than I let on - I had never seen you such a nervous wreck 😄 (in the cutest possible way) and you put on a good performance but it just wasn't genuine enough it felt scripted like you were playing a role you didn't want to play. Why would you respond the way you did but everything else was firing all systems a go for takeoff - still doesn't make sense.

You all literally watched me flip you off on the cameras, and I want to be clear: I am on the home team here, my friends. I hope that is evident by now, even in the darker seasons when we find ourselves fighting for a freedom that is never truly free. My encouragement is to transmute whatever you are feeling into something constructive - whether that is journaling, praying, creating, or simply getting your thoughts out on paper. That practice has been a steady lifeline for me, and I hope it can serve you, too.

I recognize that I have been critical of the people closest to me, yet I also know their hearts. I could feel the shared mix of fear, projection, and confusion in all of us, as though we were moving across someone else’s game board. It often felt like forces were trying to strip away my relationships, my work, and my sense of stability all at once - ultimately pushing me to stop expressing myself - their had already suggestions to stop expressing myself but if it was causing an issue you could have just tapped me on the shoulder and said hey bro, tone it down a notch - I was never speaking to anyone on the other side of this aside for the man I am going to be tomorrow.

My friends were smart; their situational awareness was on point I knew everyone well enough to know they caught on before I did. Most had offices with windows facing the front - on my last day before going home early a comment about the witness protection program was whispered and I couldn't help but think what in the actual H E double hockey sticks is really happening here, so even though I was tucked away in the very back corner with no windows (I didn't mind that it kept me focused), if I knew something was off they likely already knew, I trusted they were already well up to speed - which is why the emotions felt so charged in our interactions - our pheromones were saying everything that needed to be said. More was being communicated underneath the frequency of the noise then anywhere else. I sensed Zach’s genuine excitement that I was interested in Jess, which is why I was asked to put the book together as her farewell gift in the first place; he even helped me review it and tweak a few photos. I was honestly honored and if she was going to play inspector gadget as I had assumed she would she needed to know my address which would be on the farewell gift, because I had watched her quietly turn into an assassin when it came to getting things done, and if it involved people in the office giving me a hard time, she never hesitated to step in and shut it down - always appreciated that, thank you.

There were moments when the intensity of what was happening broke straight through the ordinary. I remember being at the coffee shop on the phone with my dad and, as I left Foxtail Coffee (be careful this place is amazing and addicting in the best possible way - it is in Tampa, FL - may have other locations), two cars pulled up on both sides of me in what I can only describe as evasive maneuvers. Around the same time, I noticed my dad had stopped inviting me over on weekends, which was out of character given that he and my stepmom had just moved to a place about an hour from where I lived a few years back. Even where I parked that day had purpose; my car was already backed in and in drive, because something in my spirit knew the atmosphere was off. I left quickly. Experiences like these can keep you feeling constantly on edge - but even in those moments, God invites us to let Him be our defender instead of living in fear. I could sense I needed the protection but I didn't understand why - one in front one in behind in the grocery store and I couldn't for the life of you tell you why. I was just sharing my lived experience along a path of struggle yet still keeping praying and hoping that things are actively getting better in the unseen.

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
Exodus 14:14 (NIV)

Grief, Tears, and Taking Time for Yourself

When you are walking through the five stages of grief, emotional balance does not mean staying calm all the time. It means giving yourself permission to feel what is actually there without letting it swallow you. One of the holiest things you can do for your nervous system and your soul is to step away from everyone else’s expectations, stop trying to perform “okay,” and let your heart be honest - even if that looks like crying in your car, in the shower, or on your couch for a while you have to transmute it to get back in balance.

You are allowed to release the pressure of always “being strong” and simply be human. Take time alone when you need it, put your phone down, and let the tears, anger, confusion, or numbness surface without judging yourself. In that quiet space, you can pray, “God, I don’t understand this, but I trust You are still here,” and allow Him to meet you right where you are. At the same time, grief does not require you to become a doormat. When something crosses a line, you can stand up for yourself, set clear boundaries, and say, “This is not okay,” while keeping your heart tender toward God.

That blend - feeling fully, trusting that there is purpose in the journey, and speaking up when necessary - is how you stay grounded and protect your peace while your heart heals. If I have had any influence at all, I feel almost embarrassed, because I have simply tried to live my life, stay focused on growth, and keep expressing myself through my TikTok channel and blog. My intention was never to target an “enemy”; I saw each challenge as an opportunity to become a little better every day, until circumstances shifted and I had to start asking harder, wiser questions.​

Along the way, I have been deeply shaped by mentors like C. Hornung, founder of Pacific Cycles, whom I met through the Culver’s franchise opportunity - a company I still hold in very high regard. His example, along with the influence of other gifted people I’ve worked with over the years, has helped form the way I think and move through the world. Having the chance to learn from such leaders has been a blessing; so many talented people have woven into my story at just the right moments. When you are in alignment, life has a way of falling into place more quickly, and even the hardest seasons can become part of a much larger, redemptive pattern. I have been surrounded by strong men over the years so I know what perseverance looks like.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

Following the Holy Spirit Tug in Everyday Moments

This Saturday (Every blog is written the day prior) was gentle in all the right ways - a relaxing afternoon at the home show, connecting with the local community, then a walk in the kind of weather that makes you remember Love. These small, ordinary choices are more spiritual than they look. They are ways of saying, “I am still here. I’m still available to love people. I’m still open to God’s leading.”

Often, the Holy Spirit’s guidance does not arrive as a booming voice; it shows up as that gentle tug toward peace, honesty, and alignment with God’s character. When you feel that inner nudge - send the text, take the walk, rest instead of doom‑scrolling, tell the truth, say no - you can trust that. The Shepherd is good at leading His sheep, and He knows how to get your attention without confusing you.

“For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.”
Romans 8:14 (NIV)

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”
John 10:27 (NIV)

Soul Food Practice for the Week Ahead

To ground your week, here is a simple rhythm you can carry with you:

1. Morning check‑in
   Before you grab your phone, place a hand on your heart and ask, “What am I actually feeling today?” Name one emotion without judging it.
2. Truth reminder
   Speak one sentence of identity over yourself: “In Christ, I am loved and steady, even when my circumstances are not.”
3. Grief space
   If you are in a grief season, give yourself 10-15 minutes to feel without fixing. Cry if you need to. Breathe. Pray: “Jesus, hold this with me.”
4. Follow one small tug
   Pay attention to a gentle nudge from the Holy Spirit - a call to make, a boundary to hold, a moment of rest - and act on it the same day.
5. Evening release
   Before bed, write down anything heavy that tried to hijack your emotions. Pray: “Lord, I give this back to You. Guard my heart and mind tonight.”

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”
Isaiah 26:3 (NIV)

"You do not have to control every variable to have a grounded week. You just need to keep coming back to who you are in Christ, notice when projections try to stick, feel what is real in your heart, and keep following that quiet, trustworthy tug of the Spirit."

With Love and Truth,
Eugene 💘

EugeniasThought: The pressure noticeably increased in October 2025 (this is when my friends and I went from crushing things to everyone getting scared - but there was nothing to fear except fear itself and the people around me knew my character and how I carried myself); once I began to wake up to what was going on around me and thinking that people might be afraid of me or be crating a false narrative I decided to step away, things around me started to intensify in every area (this is when the heat was turned up it felt like). I was aware that everything was being monitored, and I could sense there was a “home team” involved - present, quietly guiding, but never fully visible - and I thought stepping away would make things better not worse - I was wrong. In my spirit, I knew something significant was unfolding behind the scenes I just wasn't sure what at the time I truly felt like I was getting a promotion yet nobody would tell me - but I highly doubted the FBI would be there to give me a promotion. And while Jess will always feel like the ultimate prize in all of this, I still want the full story before I agree to anything, and I believe my name and my role in that story deserve to be treated with respect.

I often reflect a lot on all the positive that has happened over the years and the relationships I have cultivated a long the way. So many talented people I have been able to connect with - I am going to be pissed if my connections with my friends were targeted as well - it felt like "All Eyes On Me" by Tupac without anyone letting a kind brother know the plot of the narrative that was taking place. I will say I have enjoyed all of the conversations and viewpoints from everyone I have met over the years and I give thanks for that. I like to look at my life as if everything I have been through has been preparing me for this stage in my life - to lead - I feel like I have dodged enough death over the last 41 years and as I learned in the Rocky movie by Sylvester Stallone - you get your ass kicked enough times eventually your hide thickens just keep moving forward and getting back up and respect is ultimately due at some point just keep working towards it. I would imagine I would be in a position currently where an offer of help might feel more like a trap than anything else but I know everything works out the way that it needs to. Keep shining beautiful souls - some days will be together than others but just keep pushing through - always moving forward.

JMF and everyone else involved - I can understand how fear would have held you back in the moments of stress there were a lot of moving pieces that were happening at the same time and I felt I was making the best decisions possible to keep everyone safe in the present moment - keep shining and always trust the frequency beneath the noise. 💘 My Ships are coming in clearly.

Every word is a whisper of intention, carved in stillness and light.

🎧 Frequency Feature: Because You Loved Me

I keep thinking of “Because You Loved Me,” because that song captures what it feels like to be held up by love when everything else is shaking. In the same way, this season has reminded me that God’s love - and the steady love of a few key people - has been the quiet backbone behind every step of my healing.

Weekly Editorial Rhythm

• Monday: Monday Morning Grace - a gentle start to the week with faith-centered encouragement
• Tuesday: Truth-Telling Tuesday - authentic reflections on living faith boldly
• Wednesday: The Midweek Mirror - a pause for spiritual reflection and self-compassion
• Thursday: Frequency Thursday - tuning into God's voice amid life's noise
• Friday: Follow Friday - exploring what it means to follow Jesus in everyday moments
• Saturday: Sacred Saturday - rest, reflection, and spiritual practices
• Sunday: Sunday Soul Food - nourishing reflections to ground your week ahead

Your Journey Starts Here

Many have asked during my TikTok Lives how to begin their personal or spiritual journey. So far, I've explored and mapped the first three stages for those seeking alignment - the awakening, the journey inward, and the path forward.

These stages have brought profound clarity, and I'm grateful to share what I've discovered along the way.

There are still a few details unfolding, but trust that everything is aligning in its own time - and you'll be the first to know when it's ready.

Remember, this is love being transmuted into art; growth takes time, and you can't rush an actual journey, beautiful souls. In due time, all the right energy falls into place. Just have faith. Hold the vision.

Ready to Deepen Your Journey?

Explore my Speak Your Truth and Frequency Collections - curated resources to support your authentic faith journey and help you tune into God's frequency in daily life.

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Your presence here matters. Thank you for being part of this sacred community. 🙏✨

May you move at the pace of peace this week and trust the rhythm that is uniquely yours.