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The Midweek Mirror: Numbing vs. Living

Just because something is prescribed or socially accepted doesn’t mean it is right for your soul. My story of addiction, healing, and anchoring in faith shows that true alignment comes through presence, discipline, and God’s grace.

The Midweek Mirror: Numbing vs. Living
From numbing my pain with pills to finding freedom in faith, this is my story of healing, alignment, and the daily practices that anchor me now.

Opening Whisper

Just because something is not illegal does not make it right. And just because a doctor prescribes it does not mean it is good for your soul. I know this from experience.

The High Cost of Choosing "Easy"

For a season in my life, I was prescribed Adderall. Was it truly needed? Looking back, I do not think so. It was an easy fix. I used it to stay busy, to numb myself, to avoid the emotions I did not want to face. Taking a pill felt easier than sitting in silence with my pain.

Those were the days I owned a restaurant and ran a business selling storm shelters. Both were successful, but my home life was unraveling. My marriage ended, and I was spinning out of control. I couldn't process what was happening, so I began questioning my own worth.

My mindset was deteriorating fast. I put on weight, burdened by the belief that I had to solve every problem just to keep things from collapsing. Adderall made me feel like Superman, but the constant grinding and skipping meals wasn't heroism, it was a fool running from himself. This was just one season in a 14-year war with many battles won and lost. The real victory didn't come from a single grand gesture, but from stacking the small wins, day after day. Now, over five years later, those wins have built a life that shines brighter than ever.

But Adderall was just part of the story. My main addiction, the one that numbed me for nearly 14 years, was opioids (2006-2020). I made plenty of money, which meant access to anything. I chose the wrong things, and it cost me dearly. Toward the end, I was chewing fentanyl patches whole just to keep going.

"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life."
Galatians 6:7-8

If you find yourself in that season now, hear me: I pray that you use a little less tomorrow, and a little less the day after that. You can win. You are worth it.

The Practices That Anchor Me Now

By God’s grace, I am no longer numb. I am awake.

Back then, I reached for pills to start my day. Now, I reach for my Bible. Back then, I numbed my emotions. Now, I write them out in my journal. Back then, I ran from myself. Now, I ground myself to the earth every day and feel everything.

Today my anchors are simple practices:

  • I journal daily, letting my thoughts and emotions breathe
  • I read scripture to learn from the wisdom of Jesus
  • I speak my truth openly, even when it’s uncomfortable
  • I ground myself outside, barefoot on the earth
  • I stretch my body and discipline my mind with loving correction

These practices taught me that life is not about escape; it is about presence. It’s about listening and living aligned with the truth of who God created me to be.

"Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night... Then you will be prosperous and successful."
Joshua 1:8

The Gift of a Clear Mind

With a clear mind, I can tell you the only way to heal is to lean into the emotion, to process the experience, and to trust that your soul already knows the truth if you just sit still long enough to hear it.

When you practice this kind of alignment, you begin to sense more than words. You learn to read energy the way people read faces. Your soul just knows. There are people in my life whose souls do more than meet mine on a heart and mind level - they lock. Our energies move and radiate as one. This is a beautiful, holy thing, a gift that only comes through presence. I do not always need words; when I resonate with you, my soul recognizes it. With time everything comes to light, and if I let you into the six-foot radius of my heart you will find love there.

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’"
Isaiah 30:21

The Mirror Moment

This is where I pause and hand you the mirror.

What are you numbing with right now? Pills? Food? Alcohol? Work? A screen?
What is the cost of choosing "easy" on your body, your relationships, your soul?
When was the last time you sat in silence long enough to hear what your heart is trying to say?

My friend, you are not beyond saving. You are not too far gone. But you must be honest with yourself. Ask the hard questions:

  • What are my core values on a soul level?
  • What am I feeding my mind and spirit?
  • Are the people around me building me up or draining me dry?

Be bold enough to take action. Protect your energy. Do not settle for rooms where your spirit shrinks or for relationships that use you instead of love you.

"Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you...?"
2 Corinthians 13:5

A Final Word

You do not have to have it all figured out. Your current circumstances do not define you. Your happiness comes from within, from God’s Spirit alive in you.

You are loved. You are worth the work. The effort you make to face your emotions and stand in your truth will one day make you shine so bright that the right people will be drawn to you.

Be yourself. Stay true to you. Love, money, and opportunity will find you. But first, you must find yourself.

"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."
Lamentations 3:22-23

With love and truth,
Eugene 💚

When you subscribe, you’ll receive these reflections delivered straight to your inbox every morning at 6 AM. I’m sharing them early today thanks to the incredible team behind me and a little extra space while I travel home. Jump on board if this resonates with you. No heavy upsell, just an honest invitation to grow. Each day is a chance to push your body and your mind to become just a little stronger than yesterday.

Catch Up on This Week’s Connected Reflections

Weekly Editorial Rhythm

  • Monday: Monday Morning Grace (gentle start to the week with faith-centered encouragement)
  • Tuesday: Truth Telling Tuesday (authentic reflections on living faith boldly)
  • Wednesday: The Midweek Mirror (pause for spiritual reflection and self-compassion)
  • Thursday: Frequency Thursday (tuning into God’s voice amid life’s noise)
  • Friday: Follow Friday (exploring what it means to follow Jesus in everyday moments)
  • Saturday: Sacred Saturday (rest, reflection, and spiritual practices)
  • Sunday: Sunday Soul Food (nourishing reflections to ground your week ahead)

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