What If You’re Not Lost - Just Becoming?

Maybe you’re not behind. Maybe you’re being rebuilt in ways you can’t yet see.

There was a time in my life when I truly believed it was over.
Not just the chapter. The whole story.

Divorced.
Addicted.
Alone.

I was sitting on my mother’s couch, crying into the silence, holding enough pills to put down an elephant. Still trying to save face so no one would know the truth.

That night, I flushed them.
In the morning, I was angry I did.
But I lived. And that matters more than I can explain.

I didn’t know it then.
But I wasn’t lost.
I was becoming.

It didn’t feel like becoming.
It felt like breaking.
Like unraveling.
Like holding on by a thread no one could see.

But deep down, buried beneath the addiction, the shame, the devastation of losing someone I loved, I still had something left.
A whisper from my soul that said:
Keep pushing. You can do this.

And I listened.
Not because I was strong.
But because I remembered.

I had once lived without substances. And I had been happy.
I had once felt free. And I could again.
Maybe the version of me I thought I lost was just waiting to be rebuilt.

Becoming isn’t graceful.
It’s not obvious.
It’s not a highlight reel.

Becoming looks like sitting in the dark, wondering if you’ll ever feel like yourself again.
It looks like flushing what was supposed to kill you and waking up with no idea what comes next.
It looks like journaling, not because you’re healing, but because you’re scared your kids might need something to remember you by.

That’s not weakness.
That’s spirit.
That’s sacred grit.

If I could speak to that version of me again, the one breaking down in silence, I wouldn’t try to fix him.
I’d tell him this:

The only thing you can control in this life is yourself.
Stop trying to force things to work out.
What’s meant for you doesn’t need pressure. It needs coherence.

There are very few people you can trust with your life. Reach out to the one who’s never left you, Rosowski.
He’ll give you an opportunity to take your life into your own hands.
And you’ll take it.

You’ll make the right decision.
You’ll begin the quiet work of self-healing and reflection.
You’ll create something that echoes far beyond your own story.
A movement.
A voice.
An impact.

So if you’re in the dark right now...
If nothing makes sense...
If you feel like you’ve ruined it all...
If your soul is whispering, just keep pushing...

Listen.

You’re not broken.
You’re not behind.
You’re not lost.
You’re becoming.

And one day, not too far from now, the version of you that’s waiting on the other side of all this
will look back and thank you
for not giving up today.

Love, Eugenia

🌿 A New Way to Connect

Starting soon, I’ll be going live on TikTok - not to perform, but to connect.
I’ll be bringing you with me on my grounding walks, sharing stillness, reflection, and real moments in real time.

This isn’t about content. It’s about community.
About building something sacred - together.

More details will be shared by the end of this week.
For now, just know this:
You’re invited.
Not to a show, but to a space where your presence matters.

We’re not just building a brand. We’re building a soul movement.

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